I don't discriminate against Dickheads

Amber never talks about Amber in the third person- hell, she rarely talks about Amber in the first person. But occasionally Amber thinks that potential stalkers, people she hasn’t seen since school, and strangers with mad Googling skillz want to find out what she finds interesting. Hence, a blog.

She also likes to imagine that the aforementioned people actually want to find out what she finds interesting. Don’t tell her the truth.

Despite having the name of some kind of promiscuous ditsy blonde porn star, Amber is neither promiscuous, blonde nor a porn star. She is, however, occasionally ditsy. Or she likes to forget that she is.

Amber is not interested in people who are trying to sell any product. Piss off. Go away. Don’t come here with your “Ooh, I’ve found a great way to lose weight/ get a free ipod/ whatever, you should try it!” If Amber wanted that, she’s got mountains of spam in her inbox trying to flog Viagra, hot sexually adventurous girls and fake degrees. And she will deal with them. In 2037.

She could say that she likes making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape, but frankly, Amber would be lying. It’d be scratchy and dark.

Amber is more than aware that her job involves the trafficking of human misery but as long as she does it with a smile on her face, it’ll be all right. She rarely gets mad at someone but is always seething.

Raised to form her own beliefs, Amber now believes in the following things: the Metric System, the Rule of Three, and Gary Cole. Although occasionally she questions her faith in the latter.

Amber considers herself cultured, but only as long as it is popular culture. She is also not above a good piece of toilet humour, and is amused that the ‘About Me’ page is post sixty nine. Insert dick joke here. Hee. Insert dick.