When I was 14 I discovered that my name wasn’t actually my name. In fact, it was a yuppified version, due to a typo. Luckily for me, I wasn’t some emotional teenager so I laughed it off, made sure my signature was gender neutral, and moved on.
Then the Internet got big, and I discovered something: what if this alter-ego became my online identity? It solved all those stranger danger issues whilst at the same time showed that I was comfortable being me. So most of my online identity revolves around the typo- same pronounciation, different spelling. Unless I was lucky enough to get in early enough for my ‘real’ name. For example, this blog.
Fast forward to today, and my decision to get a new birth certificate for the impending nuptuals. “Times have changed”, says the lady at the counter at the BDM as she rolls off the list of things that wouldn’t have my given name if I applied for them today, including my marriage certificate. Passport. License. Everything. “Just change your name on everything to the one on your birth certificate”.
And the alternative? Fill out a form that the birth certificate is wrong, which sounds good in theory if a) you didn’t have to show proof that your name is your name without a birth certificate or b) the six weeks it takes means that the marriage license won’t be ready in time.
But the truth is I like things the way that they are now. It’s bad enough for an independent woman to consider dropping your surname on marriage, but to change your first name? At the same time? That’s just too much. On the other hand, if I keep the name I know and wipe out the typo, then I’m just another person who has changed their name into l33tspeak. I’m equally as comfortable with both as I am uncomfortable with getting rid of one over the other. They’re both me, and to choose one I’d lose part of me.