When I miss the train that I aim to catch each day- and this is pretty often-I get the pleasure of sharing the train platform with a lady I like to call Ranty Tourettes Woman. If you get near her she starts questioning your morality and then tells you to go forth and multiply, and then offers to smash your face in. Then you generally move away lest you find out that Ranty Tourettes Woman is actually Crazy Psycho Tourettes Woman. And then she moves on to the next person.
On the weekend I was at another train station and there she was again, and I’m sure she recognised me and now thinks I’m one of the government spies sent to follow her and apply a bug in her frontal lobe, because this morning she singled me out specifically, stood by my seat and started threatening me. Even I was suprised how little it took for me to give in and walk away.
So yeah, she’s seven types of scary. But she’s also a few type of awesome too:
- The rant thing is quite ingenious on her behalf, because while everyone else is arse to cheek, she has a quarter of the platform all to herself. I really don’t know how it is when she’s actually on the train, which can be so full you could consider it sodomy, but it probably is the same.
- She catches the same train each day. Being the Ranty Tourettes Woman is no excuse for tardiness, and she knows it.
- She’s probably correct about the whorishness of most of the people she talks to (but not me, naturally). And requesting that they go and do the action that they are obviously skilled at may be an act of kindness rather than rantiness.
- Maybe she’s the sane one.
