I don't discriminate against Dickheads

Christmas and I do not have a very good relationship. In fact, it usually ends up in me having a serious attack of the sads, which is unusual since I’m one of the least depressive people you could ever meet.

The crux of it is this: I’m surrounded by a variety of people who think Christmas is the greatest day of the year, so I spend the entire Christmas period making sure that their dreams come true, that their ideal of Christmas is not shattered, always at the expense of my own. And trying to do this is not only emotionally draining, but also means that Christmas is a slightly out of body experience. Plus, it brings out other insecurities and phobias. I’m sure that if they weren’t enjoying themselves so much they would realise I’m never quite normal.

Because I work through the holiday period (and always have), it’s not even seen as a relaxing time of the year. This year I’ve got family commitments- commitments to make other people feel good about themselves-  from the time I leave work on Christmas Eve, to the end of Boxing Day, and then I’m back at work. I really need a holiday- it’s been 2 years since I’ve had any leave. But I digress.

Lucky for me, my annual Christmas ‘down’ period has started early this year, which was not helped by my last minute shopping today. So at least people can’t blame my filthy mood on something trivial like not getting good enough gifts. What it does mean is that I’m ready to pick fights already. Only problem is, I don’t have the strength to fight that urge.

Tags: Christmas