I don't discriminate against Dickheads

This one was one of my best second hand book finds, and I thought it was time I shared. Ten bucks, and one thousand pages of pure gold from 1953, I tell you. Plus, when I got it I was asked whether the most obviously gay man on the planet was my father by the bookstore owner. I told him that he couldn’t be further from the truth. I think the guy that I was with was chuffed that he looked that young. Anyway, I digress.

Actually, in many ways as a book it’s pretty forward for its time. Yes, it’s got its share of ‘how to be a good wife and look after your baby’, but there’s this focus on sexual health. The book is also an advocate for using contraception; sure, within the confines of marriage, but still, it respects the fact that women aren’t just baby making machines.

But, of course, women want to be baby making machines.

Anyway, let’s get to the good parts, shall we?

For those who can’t be bothered reading- make the engagement short because you can’t wait to get into their pants. Remember, kids- rock, frock, cock. (I actually like this myself- too often people want to get engaged to legitimise getting in each others pants, to whom I don’t know, or so they can have a pissup).

Let’s move on.

Not seen in the picture: Syphilis.

Now that we’ve worked out that non- union unions are out, let’s talk about what happens when there is too much of a good thing:

Don’t forget that this is before the Internet- perverts needed somewhere else to take out their, ahem, frustrations. So they had to take it out on their wives almost nightly. Sickos.

I’ll finish off with my favourite-ist bit in the whole book. I can’t stress the absolute gold that is contained in the 4 pages on how to raise your kids so that they don’t go down the path of self abuse. Did you know that masturbation has a cause?

Dirty nappy? Wanker in the making. Itchy ring? I’ll give you an itch that needs scratching. Missing your daily movement? I’ll show you how to make the earth move. I haven’t even shown you the page and a half of things to do to make sure that your child doesn’t go down the evil path, a large proportion of them being not to hang around kids that do the same thing. Because apparently in the 50s pleasuring yourself was a social activity.